35

This week, we celebrate 35 years of marriage. Ellen bought a card that said this:

“We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we? You know what, though? I think we’re a better couple because of it.”

That nails it! Our journey has had a fair mix of abundant joy, incredible pain, and nearly everything in between. While the great times have been more than wonderful, the trials have taught us so much about ourselves and our relationship. Looking back over this amazing ride, we have found that a strong marriage includes these elements of love:

Unconditional acceptance – of the person, but not necessarily their actions. Seeing each other as always worthy of love but working to eliminate detrimental behaviors.

Realistic expectations – setting clear intentions, clarifying expectations, and acknowledging differences to reduce disappointments and frustrations.

Gratitude – the purposeful appreciation of and for one another, expressed through daily words and actions. Feeling a warm gratefulness for all efforts, big or small.

Honest and open communication – one of the hardest elements of any relationship, but one of the most crucial. It takes consistent intentional work in creating a safe space to be vulnerable with each other. Doing so can be challenging at times, but the impact on a relationship can be transformative.

Trust – the cornerstone and foundation for any meaningful relationship. Built into this is honesty, integrity, accountability, and dependability. This reveals itself in the comfort of knowing that your partner sees you, values you, and will show up for you in the ways you need them to.

Creating a healthy and meaningful marriage takes substantial work. But like anything else, doing a little everyday to make it stronger and more vital develops a profound relationship over a lifetime. We are more in love with each other than we have ever been. It hasn’t come easy, but we are committed to the good of each other. For us, that’s what love is!