“Hold me hand, case me fall”

Papaw Lanny and Ryan

Just recently my wife showed me a video of a dad and his young daughter playing in a puddle. She reaches out and asks him to take her hand and join her in the mud. That image reminded Ellen and me about a precious moment many years ago. My youngest son Ryan was just a toddler. One afternoon, he was trying to work his way down the stairs with some guidance. He reached out for me and said, “Hold me hand, case me fall”. Those words have brought a smile to my face many times over the years.

That phrase also serves to remind me that we all need a hand at times. One of the hardest things for us to do as adults is to ask for help. Somewhere along the way we become convinced that we are somehow weak or unworthy if we need someone else to help us. Almost everyone is willing to help someone else, yet we put up a wall around us when we could use some assistance ourselves. Brené Brown suggests that this mindset is a way we armor up against our own self worth issues. We mistakenly think that we increase our personal power if we never ask for help. In actuality, we are weakened by our distorted thinking. Neuropsychology continues to affirm that we are stronger as social beings working interdependently with each other.

Fundamentally, we can only live at our best when we are willing to embrace our need for each other. When we can see that asking for help allows others to ask as well, we give each other permission to tear down the walls that separate us and empower us to live together more fully. As I think back on that little hand grasping mine, I am deeply moved at the love and trust that represents. What we need now more than ever is a reminder to be there for each other as we take the next uncertain steps.