Perfect Imperfections
We have been watching The Voice over the last few months. During the finale, John Legend performed a mini concert for a medical team in LA. He played one of my favorites: All of Me. One phrase in the song that has always stuck with me is “perfect imperfections”. I really like those words. For me, they capture the reality that none of us are perfect and that’s okay. I don’t really know why, but we all seem to succumb to the mindset that there is a look, a size, or a style that is the ultimate measure. We get caught in mental gymnastics trying to meet those images at a great cost to our mental health.
What we have to get to in our lives is that we are precious just the way we are. We are more than the carbon framework we live in. We are more than the sum of our behaviors. We are more than the total of our accomplishments. At the core of who we are is a person who is worthy to be here, who has purpose and meaning, and who is enough just as we are. We all have a difficult time truly believing that. But who wrote the rule book that says that we have to keep up with the Joneses, that we have to earn our place in this world, that we are only as good as what others think of us? We can choose to let go of these unwritten, unrealistic expectations and adopt a healthier, more empowering foundation.
Everyone is struggling with something. We have to give ourselves permission to be human! We are going to have bad days; we are going to be overwhelmed occasionally; we are going to make mistakes; and we are going to doubt our abilities to endure in some moments. It’s part of the deal. However, we will move through those moments. There is a phrase my wife has shared with me recently: we have survived 100% of our worst days so far.
There are things we can do to help us embrace our perfect imperfections. Here are a few of my favorites:
Read or listen to some of the powerful books available such as The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene’ Brown, Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, or The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.
Talk with someone who you can trust like a counselor, pastor, or friend.
Take care of your physical health by eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising.
Explore and address any cognitive distortions that influence you mentally.
Invest your time and energy into acts of service and kindness.
Most of us would extend grace to anyone who came to us with these feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. You have the right to extend some to yourself.