True to Yourself

Richard Bach has a famous quote: “Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.”

This statement really bothered me for much of my early life. It sounded so selfish. However, at this stage in my journey, it resonates deeply within me. A lifetime of experiences and opportunities for new perspectives have changed my understanding of Bach’s words. Until I came to a deeper connection to my true authentic self, I was living incompletely, and to a large extent, dysfunctionally. Another way of framing it is that until I learned to love myself for who I am, I was incapable of loving others fully.

Much of my life, I pursued what I thought everyone else wanted or needed me to be. I only felt valuable or worthy when I was pleasing someone else. When that didn’t work, I felt like a failure. This would show up as anxiety, anger, and discouragement. In the last few years, a strange transition has happened. When I let go of trying to earn my place in the world by focusing on what I thought others wanted from me, I came to accept myself more honestly and holistically. This empowered me to live more abundantly and purposefully, which fueled my desire to help others for healthier reasons. The shift is in small increments. I began moving from being a people-pleaser to being a people-lover, because I began to more fully learn to love myself. Coming from a place of compassion instead of a mindset of unrealistic expectations and ineffective motives has allowed me to embrace who I am, and in the process, give myself away in meaningful and joyful ways.

So, to come full circle, I have had to take a long and winding journey in self-discovery. The major turning point for me was learning that the important steps were inward. Instead of trying to find myself in the reflection of the world around me, I needed to internalize who I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The irony of it is that I have come to be more fully in the world around me, seeking to make a real difference through richer and deeper relationships, because I finally began to start being true to myself.