How’s the Weather?
Over the past few months, we have seen the whole gamut of weather: tornadoes, ice storms, bitter cold, unseasonably warm, rain for days, sunny mornings, and so on. It seems like the old adage has modified to “if you don’t like the weather today, wait a few minutes.” In many ways, the range of emotions that we all have been experiencing seems to mimic these weather patterns. With the chaos of the pandemic and the impact it has had on our daily lives, we can never be sure what we will encounter any given day. Will we face deep grief or mild amusement, will we be enraged at something or deeply moved by compassion, or will we be numb to it all or inspired to act decisively. The crazy thing is that we may go through all of this in a day.
Throughout my life, I have been on a journey to become more emotionally aware and balanced. It is an ongoing and daily work. With the help of my wife and children, my therapists, many incredible authors, impactful podcasts and articles, and intentional work, my life has moved in the right direction. It hasn’t been linear and not without multiple setbacks and restarts, but the path has been meaningful and worthwhile.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been reading Brené Brown’s new book, Atlas of the Heart. It is the most comprehensive book on emotions I have encountered in my life. Along with Marc Brackett’s book, Permission to Feel and Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence, these have provided a framework for understanding and processing emotions that have been life-changing for me. With that said, I still struggle to handle things well at times. I still feel out of control at moments. But I am more equipped today to work through those situations than ever before.
If we are willing to listen to the wisdom of others, do the hard work of learning who we are and what makes us tick, and put into practice the effective and purposeful steps toward mental and emotional health, we can navigate through the daily storms and uncertainties that we all face. No matter what we are feeling, those emotions are temporary, and they do not define us. In his latest blog, Eric Barker (https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2022/01/emotionally-intelligent-relationships/) mentions a phrase based on Pema Chödrön’s work that really speaks to this dynamic: We are not the weather, we are the sky.